Believeing In Christmas
by Aspen-SiredBySpike
Summary: Pansy has fallen into depression after her parents had died last Christmas. Will Draco be able to help her see the light again or will her only comfort come from the nutcracker, her last reminder of her parents?


**BELIEVEING IN CHRISTMAS**

It was a frosty night outside on the grounds of Hogwarts. Icicles crystallized on the roof's edge and the stony ledges of the castle's many windows. Snow was lightly falling, littering the ground in a thin layer of white while a couple of the few remaining students who stayed for the holidays scooped it up as quickly as it fell to turn into snowballs to toss at their friends. Every few archways or so, the occasional couple could be seen under a sprig of Mistletoe, enjoying one of the favorite traditions of the season. As she walked by, she wished she could share in their joy but she had made a vow to herself...she wasn't going to enjoy this Christmas season in the least. It brought back too many ghosts...

_"Oh, Mum! He's wonderful!" _

_A small girl with gossamer hair tied back in a white ribbon sat on the floor before a tall towering evergreen. It sparkled in the light of the dozens of candles that sat on its many branches, illuminating the room with an enchanting glow. A dazzling angel sat at the top, guarding the tree and all in the room with her watchful eyes. A small smirk crossed her porcelain face as she gazed down at her owners, smiling joyously at their one and only child squealing with glee. Her eyes danced with mischief as she stared at the many unopened presents, forgotten and abandoned at the smallest package being opened. It was not anything extravagant like a new gown or a glistening piece of jewelry, but something as simple as a sort of doll. The child held it tightly to her chest, cradling it as if it were a baby; to delicate to be alone in the outside world and needing protection from a master of sorts. The angel ceased the small fit of giggles she had let out during the exchange and went back to watching the scene play out in front of her. _

_"We're glad you like it dear." Genevieve Parkinson smiled as she watched her daughter claim the present as hers to guard. _

_"We know it isn't exactly what you wanted Pansy, but since you collect dolls, we thought he might be appropriate." Clayton Parkinson placed an arm around his wife's shoulder gently as he let the start of a small smile grace his face. _

_"He's perfect." Pansy said in almost a whisper. She withdrew him from her chest gently and let her eyes wander over his brilliant features. He wasn't just some doll; he was a nutcracker to be précised. His miniature wooden frame was painted delicately with different tones of white and silver. A glimmering sword was tight at his side and shiny black boots graced his feet. A grayish hat rimmed with fur sat atop his head while his long blonde hair was tied back into a white wrap. What surprised her most was his face. It wasn't painted as an elderly man, like most nutcrackers she had seen before, but more so like a boy. His icy blue eyes were so startling and mysterious, they frightened her a little. Although they held a certain stony quality, they also looked warm and kind. A little like a friend of hers... His face was carved into sharp angles, posing the idea that he could be stern or protective. His mouth wasn't much of a smile, but a smirk. And weren't most nutcrackers supposed to look wise and in line, like any other soldier? Hers looked so impish and carefree that she could have mistaken him for someone a little immature and naughty at times. Just then, a tiny 'click' went off in the back of her mind. "It looks like Draco..." She muttered under her breath. _

_"What was that dear?" Her mother asked as she inclined her head slightly to catch her daughter's words. _

_"I said, he kind of looks like Draco...don't you agree Mum? Dad?" Pansy replied as she held him forward for them to see. _

_"My Merlin, you're right!" Her father said with a astonishment. _

_"He certainly has the same hair and face..." Her mother trailed off. _

_"And eyes. I could recognize those eyes anywhere..." Pansy stared at her new 'doll' for a moment longer before there was a knock at the door. Her head snapped up in shock. _

_"Oh, that must be the Bulstrodes..." Her mother said as she stared out towards the den. "Pansy dear, would you mind getting that please?" _

_"Ok Mum..." She replied as she got up and heading for the door; not putting the nutcracker down once. When she reached the door, she stopped briefly, not hearing any noise outside of it. Cautiously, she opened the door a crack, only to be met with it slamming into her head, causing her to fall to the ground, losing the nutcracker on her way down. Death eaters stormed the house, wrecking everything in sight. Hexes flew through the air and spells could be heard echoing throughout the house. A loud scream reached her ears, which she knew straight away was her father's. "Dad!" Pansy yelled as she tried to get up. As soon as she got to her feet, a spell hit her in the back. Her eyes blurred and her body lost control of any physical movement as she crashed, once more, onto the hard, oak floor…_

Pansy pushed the memory out of her head as she continued to move across the Hogwarts' grounds, now at almost a run. She ran for what felt like hours. Her hands began to numb and her cheeks turned a rosy red from the cold. She wanted to stop so badly but she couldn't. She had to find him before curfew. He was leaving tomorrow and she needed to talk to him before then.

It was getting late and people were starting to return inside so they could warm up in their common rooms. She scanned their frozen faces but with no avail. He wasn't there. He had to be outside…he just had to be. She scoured the whole castle before journeying out into the crisp night air and he wasn't anywhere to be seen. He was out here somewhere…she knew that for certain.

More time passed and she was beginning to think that she was wrong and that she had overlooked a secret alcove or hiding place in the castle when she heard a faint humming. It wasn't very loud but it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard. She followed the sound on the wind until she was standing outside of the Quidditch pitch. Slowly, she walked through the open archway and glanced around. She saw nothing at first but when her eyes fell on the far side of the stands, she knew that it was him.

She gravitated towards the blonde haired boy who was sitting on one of the middle seats, leaning back with his eyes closed and humming; not appearing to notice her presence. Quietly, she walked up the stands and took a seat beside him. He didn't open his eyes nor stop humming. He continued on as if he were still alone. She took this opportunity to stare at her best friend. He looked a lot different then when she first met him, although some features never changed. He still had the same pale blonde hair, but he didn't keep it slicked back anymore. Thank Merlin that Narcissa convinced him to stop using Sleakeasy's hair solution towards the end of last year. Now, it hung gently into his eyes and framed his angular face gracefully. It was always groomed to perfection; definitely worthy to uphold a crown or an angel's halo. Pansy let out a soft giggle.

"An angel from hell maybe…" She whispered to no one in particular.

His eyes, although closed now, were still the same icy blue that was stony and cold. But over the years, Pansy had noticed that they began to look warmer and kinder, unless of course he was any where around Harry Potter; then they turned into a stone wall… His skin had always been smooth and pale, making his eyes stand out, but it seemed as though by the day, it dropped a tone and had become almost a porcelain white; just another thing to add to his list of angelic qualities. He had grown quite tall too. Pansy remembered a time when she was as tall as him but that was way out of reach now, he towered a good six or seven inches over her, making her feel insignificant and weak. Overall, he had matured a lot since she had known him, but not to the extent where maturity was going to get in the way of having fun. He was able to keep his sense of adventure unlike her; but of course, he didn't go through what she did…he still had both of his parents.

At some point through the time that she had been staring at her best friend for so many years, deep in thought, Draco had opened his eyes and was gazing back at her. He was staring her right in the eyes, but she didn't appear to notice at all. He let her be for awhile, not bothering to interrupt her thoughts. He gazed at her doll-like face; she had aged so much since the incident last Christmas. She never dreamt of happy endings, never spoke happy thoughts and never let herself have any fun anymore. He missed the old Pansy who would try to pull off his elaborate schemes with him, the old Pansy who laughed at his jokes when she was the only one who got them, the old Pansy who would confide in him when she was troubled, and most of all, the old Pansy who loved to just spend time with him for no reason at all. Now, it seemed that she needed a reason to be around him, to be around anybody for that matter. She wouldn't even spend extensive amounts of time with Millicent or Blaise anymore, and they were her closest girlfriends. No, she secluded herself from everyone including him and it was bothering him to no end.

After staring back at her for a few minutes he decided it was time that she came out of her trance. Carefully, he put his hands on her shoulders, leant her forward and gave her a soft, kiss on the cheek. Instantly, Pansy blinked her eyes, and stared at Draco, who still hadn't let go of her shoulders.

"Oh…Draco," She stuttered, embarrassed that he had kissed her. "What was that for?"

"What? The kiss?" Draco asked trying to sound innocent. "Pansy, you were staring at me for almost ten minutes without blinking. I had to get you out of that trance somehow. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you would rather me kiss you then hit you like I do Crabbe and Goyle. Am I right?"

"Oh…Yes." Pansy flushed not realizing before that she was staring at him for an extensive amount of time. "Sorry." Draco nodded his head and let his hands drop down to his lap. _If only she knew _Draco thought.

"So what's on your mind Pans?" He asked as he quirked his head to the side slightly. _Always ready to listen…what a good friend_ Pansy thought to herself as she let a small smile pass over her lips. Draco smirked at noticing her smile. Pansy looked down at the brightly wrapped present she had in her hands and remembered why she had sought out Draco in the first place.

"Here," She said, holding the package forward. "This is for you." Draco looked at the gift and took it uncertainly. It was brightly wrapped in shiny green paper but held no usual Pansy adornments like over-sized bows and sparkly seasonal cards. It was easy to see that she was in no mood for the lights, snow or decorations this year. He slowly unwrapped the present, the paper falling to their feet. Within moments, he was gazing down at a beautifully hand-crafted nutcracker that looked astonishingly like himself.

"Amazing," Draco breathed in an almost inaudible tone.

"I know." Pansy answered, her voice, beginning to sound teary. "He looks exactly like you. That's why I want you to have him." Draco was speechless. The nutcracker was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, next of course, to the young witch sitting beside him. Draco was about to speak when Pansy continued.

"I got him last year as a Christmas present from my mum and dad. He was the first thing I opened and my best gift ever. All of the other presents lay forgotten under the tree because I was so absorbed in how handsome he was. There was a knock at the door and I was asked to get it by my mum. I took the nutcracker with me but when I opened the door, it slammed into me, knocking me to the ground. I dropped him on the way down. If you look above his right eye, you'll see the mark from where he hit the floor…" Draco lifted the nutcracker closer to his face and sure enough, he could see a small chip of his face gone where the outer piece of the eyebrow should have been. He hadn't even noticed it before. Pansy reached over and stroked the chip mindlessly before continuing with her story.

"Death eaters stormed the house and began destroying all of my family's possessions. I heard my father scream and tried to get up but as soon as I was about to run to him, I got hit by a spell and fainted. When I awoke, the house was filled with Ministry officials and I was told that both of my parents had been killed in a raid. I was to be put in the care of my mum's sister, Estrella and that I would be living with her until I became of age. All of my belongings were transported to her house except for a few items of my parents which I gathered up before leaving and the nutcracker. They must have noticed he had a chip and decided that I didn't need a worthless doll…" At this she wrenched her hand away from the nutcracker and folded her hands in her lap.

Draco looked at her pityingly. He could see the sorrow in her eyes. Unlike him, she had known loss and death. Unlike him she was no longer in her parents care; and unlike him, she had lost all emotions, believing that to love someone or something will only lead to losing it. At the age of thirteen she had lost everything she had ever really cared about and at the age of fourteen she had never truly healed. She was living a life without fun, a life without emotion and a life without love. Draco hated seeing her like this; he had to find a way to make her see reason, to come out of the world of shadows that she forced herself into.

"Promise me one thing Draco," Pansy sighed as a solitary tear ran down her frozen cheek. Draco reached up and wiped it away. Pansy sniffed before looking up into his eyes.

"Anything…" Draco whispered as his hand lingered on her soft, cold skin.

"Promise me that you'll take care of him for me. I feel that the only way for me to get over their death is to get rid of the one thing that truly reminds me of them. All I ask of you is to make sure that he is safe and doesn't get hurt more than he already is." Pansy said indicating to the chip on his face once more. "Make sure he doesn't get hurt. I couldn't bare it if either of my Draco's got hurt on my account." Draco twisted his face as his brain clicked.

"What do you mean, either of my Draco's?" He asked as he ran his hand down her face to rest delicately on her shoulder.

"What I mean," Pansy started as she reached up a hand and rested it on his. Draco practically melted at her touch. He had yearned for it for so long and he finally had it. He savored this moment as he listened to her finish. "Is that I don't want you or the nutcracker to get hurt because of me. I named him Draco because he looked exactly like you; but also because that when I was all alone, sad or scared, he was always with me to comfort me, just like you were always there for me. He has become one of my best friends and has helped me through some of the hardest times of my life, but now that I think about it, his comfort isn't real. He's only a doll. I need the comfort of the real Draco…The Draco who has been my best friend since the first time we met on the train in our first year. I don't want fake trust and love that comes from a doll. I want it from you." She had said it. She loved him. Perhaps not in the way that he loved her, but she admitted she loved him. Draco clasped his hand around hers and pulled her into a warm, heart-felt hug. He could feel her tears streaming onto his neck but he didn't care; because he knew that he was getting the old Pansy back.

Reluctantly he pulled away and watched as she wiped her tears away, a shy smile spread across her face. He laughed quietly as he watched her blush, knowing that she hated it when he saw her cry.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Draco blurted out as he hurriedly reached into the pocket of his cloak and pulled out a long red box. "Here, you're Christmas present." Pansy looked down at the box and scoffed before she ripped it out of his hand.

"Gryffindor red? I didn't know you could sink that low." Now that was the Pansy he knew and loved.

"Just open it." Draco snapped as he rolled his eyes. Pansy glared at him before she turned her attention back to opening her present. She ripped off the paper and stared at the long, black box. She slid a finger under a corner of the lid and opened the box. She just stared at its contents for a minute before punching Draco in the arm. "Ouch!" Draco said as he rubbed his arm. "What was that for?"

"It's beautiful." Pansy said as she stared down at it. Inside the box was a silver locket in the shape of a heart. Engraved on the front was the word 'flower'. It was little and would match her petite frame perfectly.

"So what if it's nice? That was no reason to hit me!" Draco complained.

"It's the nicest gift I've ever gotten." Pansy stated as she held it up in the air, dropping the box in the stands.

"I thought the nutcracker was." Draco said thoughtfully.

"This locket doesn't remind me of last year though." Pansy said briefly. Draco took the locket out of her hands and passed her the nutcracker.

"Turn around." Draco commanded. She did as he said and turned away from him, picking up her ebony hair in her free hand. He slipped the chain around her neck and took his time clasping the back. His fingers lingered on the back of her neck for a moment before bringing them down. She felt his hands leave and dropped her hair before turning around to face him again. Without a word she handed the nutcracker back to him.

"Thank you." She said quietly, not looking him in the eyes. They were silent for a couple of minutes before Draco stood up and stretched.

"Come on, it must be close to curfew, if not past it. We'd better get back inside." He held his hand out to her. She stared at it idly for a moment before placing her tiny one inside of it. He clasped her hand gently before leading her down the stands and across the field. When they got underneath the archway, Draco stopped her.

"Why did we stop?" Pansy asked as she looked around. Draco glanced upwards and smirked. She followed his gaze until it fell on a solitary sprig of mistletoe. Pansy blushed slightly before bringing her eyes back down to meet Draco's. Slowly, he leant down and cupped her face in his free hand, hoping that she wasn't going to deny this tradition like she had been doing to the others all season long. Without second thought, Pansy put her hands on his shoulders; propped herself up on the toes of her boots and placed her cold stung lips on his. The kiss wasn't short but it wasn't long either. It was sweet and passionate and for the two people involved, it was nothing but perfect. When they broke apart Pansy put her hand back inside of Draco's and swayed mindlessly back and forth. "Draco,"

"Yeah Pans?" Draco asked as he looked down at the frozen girl in front of him.

"Thank you…For making me believe in Christmas again."

"Don't mention it." There was another awkward silence before Draco spoke again, an idea coming to him. "And Pans?"

"Yeah Draco?"

"I know you're supposed to be going to your Aunt Estrella's for the holiday but do you think she'd be angry if I invited you to come with me instead?" Draco asked hopefully. Pansy gave a short laugh before replying.

"I think she'd be delighted." Draco smiled as he wrapped his arm round Pansy's shoulders and began to walk back to the castle. The grounds were filled with laughter emanating from the two as they happily talked and joked as they headed back to the warmth of the Slytherin common room, where that night, the dragon fell asleep watching over the flower that lay in his arms on the couch in front of the fire.

* * *

**A/N: Hello everyone! Look, I'm so sorry this isn't posted until four days after Christmas. I actually had it finished on Christmas Eve and before I had time to post it I got some of the most shocking news...my aunt is Pregnant! Anyways, I was going to post it on Christmas but I had a lot of company. On Boxing day I started my massive poetry project for the wicked witch herself and have forgotten about it until now. ****Also, for readers of Seducment of a Slytherin, don't fret, I plan to post a new chapter within the week I go back to school after Christmas Break. ****For readers of The Feeling is Mutual, I have half of chater 2 finished and I am working on it any free chance I have. Hopefully a new chapter wil be posted soon. ****I have a one shot completed titled Mission: Seduce Draco Malfoy but I am making a few changes to it. Expect it by the end of January. ****I have another one shot in the works as a request from eleen called This Is My Idea. It will be up soon, I promise! ****I have a sort of Draco/Pansy/Hermione fic started currently called Title so eleen doesn't get any hints to what it's about and I have worked a little on it. ****In most of my spare time, I have devoted myself to Not At Hogwarts under the account aspenandeleen150, which I am writing with eleen. Chapter 20 done! Yay! ****And if you're a lover of Phantom of the Opera, as I am, I have started a fic called Secretly Dreaming of Beauty. It is my first Phantom fic and an Erik/Christine ship. Hopefully some of you will be interested in it. Anyways, see you at the end of my next post! And don't forget, I take requests and work on them harder and more so than my other fics. So don't be afraid to ask me to write something for you! I love you all! Aspen Clearwater...**


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